Are there words…

Not sure there are words to describe a nightmare that changes your life so drastically as the one my sweet sister suffered last Saturday September 20. We lost my sisters dear husband and best friend while him and a friend were cutting down a tree. A tragic accident that we will forever remember. I’ve never in my life been in such disbelief or filled with such grief. My heart hurts for my sister and sweet Mack and all I want to do it make this all go away for them. My sister is one of the strongest women I know, I saw her strength come to a head this week. God held her up in a way that only he could. She has been surrounded by her family and friends this week and I pray she will find the strength to continue being the best mommy to Mack. None of us have tread through these waters before and we are praying and begging God to show us the way. Please be patient with us, pray for us and most of all take every day to express your love to others.

To my friends who have held me up this week, I will never forget you. This ugly storm was only bearable because of you. Ashley girl you saw me at my worst and are still by my side, there are no words sister. Erin P I’m still shocked I didn’t send you in to labor with my intenseness, thank you for your words, they are such a blessing. Jessica, you have taken in my babies and friend there are no words for friends when they take in your greatest blessings and love on them when their mommy and daddy can’t. You are an angel and I love you dearly. To my many friends that text me daily, called me even when I couldn’t talk I felt your prayers and your words, they were such a blessing. To my sweet neighbor that came to keep our kids when we got the word, Janet you are too kind. Your presence was enough. To my many friends that came to the funeral/visitation even without even knowing my sister you are friends till the end and I know with out a doubt you would be there at any time all I have to do is call. The flowers, the cards, my list can continue for miles your love was felt and literally pulled and continue pulling us through this time. Thank you isn’t enough, but it is all I have at this time. Please don;’t stop praying, those prayers are how we are surviving, even today!

Spent some time soaking in the sun with Mack and Emmy..

little sis getting ready for her big glasses reveal…(and yes I was not prepared so we wore Mack's clothes..not embarrassing at all! )

WE went on many a wagon rides round and round there circle!

We even had a few shows and dance parties…

We dug in the dirt a lot….enough to get dirt mustaches, of course!

We ventured out to Chuck E Cheese with uncle J and Stephanie

Davis even lost his fourth tooth, pulled by none other than POPS!

Emmy has rocked this week. She has been Mack’s go to, and my flexible girl along with a long eye doctor appointment which involved getting her eyes dilated. Her spunk and wit despite the circumstances amaze me.

My prayer for my sweet sweet sister,

God I have been so mad at you, I’m ashamed to say it but I have even been unable to pray. My prayers have been limited to phrases and sentences where all I can do is cry out..

Where were you?

What now?

Why him? Why them? Why now?

What will that baby do without his daddy?

Why didn’t you stop it?

God, just why?

I am dealing with that anger now and I am able to talk to you with more words. But God be with her, be gentle with her, carry her, love her and use us to be you to her. God she needs us, she needs you, give us what she needs so we can minister to her. Give her a new normal and a strength to find that new normal. This is going to be an intense journey and let us not forget the bumps and hills along the way. Allow us to be there for Mack. Help him to always know he has so many people that love him and want the best for him. When he thinks about his daddy may he remember how much he loved him and how much of his daddy lives in him. God our hearts are broken and at a time when we can’t see them healing god carry us to the next step. Show yourself, reveal yourself in ways that we can’t even imagine. God heal our hearts, make us strong for her and for Mack. God we may not always understand, but we love you.

Biker girl

It only took a day and Emerson has been unstoppable on her “new” (D’s old bike). She rides like she has been riding for months. She loves to ride her bike and even if we just step foot outside she has to ride her bike just for a minute! AH!

On this particular day we visited D for lunch and we got a kick out of his person..it was suppose to be him! Look at those teeth! Poor guy!

Emmy was not so sure about it!

Enjoying our grub with our big first grader!

To my dearest daughter

There will be so many times you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, heart and mind of your child you are Super Mom.

A mother who radiates self-love and self acceptance actually vaccinates her daughter against low self esteem.

A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart.

Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.

Dear Daughter if I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes.

The love between a mother and daughter is FOREVER.

The more daughter knows the details of her mothers life, the stronger the daughter.

 

“Her smile makes me smile. Her laugh infectious. Her heart is pure and true. Above all I love that she is my daughter”

This session was something that had been on my mind for quite some time. I was so proud to finally complete them and see how amazing they turned out. I pray my sweet girl always knows the love her momma and daddy have for her. Life won’t always be easy for her, but we will. Emerson will have a new accessory come this week and we pray others kids are kind and gentle to her regarding her glasses at such a young age. Praising God it was nothing serious but still mindful of the transition. I pray I am always her encourager, an example of Jesus and friend. God use her for your kingdom! We love you baby girl!