DISCLOUSURE…not my normal kind of kiddo post! BEWARE!
I have just completed a intense Bible study with some of my favorite girls on promise land living…what a breath taking study. I learned so much and really had some major ah ha moments. It is amazing how one little study can change you, I mean really change you and make life and the incidents that have occurred to you during life make so much since…I sure am blessed to have had such an amazing journey with these girls, Priscilla Shirer and my amazing God!
My wilderness as I see it began about 2 years ago with the craziness in our life called MOVING! I was not eager to leave Louisville, but I knew for my family leaving was really the only option. So after two almost moves and our final move to Milan we began to try to settle into small town life and living. WE were knocked down (Davis having surgery again, our rental house, and both vehicles getting destroyed in a storm, and our new home getting hit the day after we bought it by yet another storm) several times before getting to any since of normalcy but then though life was treating us just fine…except, I still wasn’t convinced! I was lonely, I had friends don’t get me wrong but I felt I was missing something. I called my friends from KY and even still visited with them, but yet I was still lonely, missing something. I just kept moving on and attempting to fill my life with other things, not bad things just other things…
Walker and I made a really hard decision to leave our current church family in Milan and start new in Jackson with a family at skyline. It was a shocker to lots of folks, even to me. We did it, as tough as it was and still is we did it….and my life has never been so blessed for taking such a leap of faith and such a different move. The change has been tough, lonely, and even made me angry, sad, etc, but the rewards and benefits have outweighed all else. Still, I was lonely.
I must explain before moving to Louisville I kept God in a small little box that I took with me to assemblies three times a week and that’s about it. In Louisville I met some amazing people, worshipped with an amazing family and let God out of the box I had always kept him in and let him live in me and everywhere. I stopped marking things off a checklist and started loving god and living god and my life CHANGED. FOREVER! Along the way of this remarkable journey I had some amazing friends that got me through the scariness of it all, you think letting God our of a box you have kept him in all your life isn’t scary, just try it…trust me it will rock your world. But he was faithful and he gave me people to help me because he knew it would be so difficult!
So when I moved here I felt alone. God knew I would need those encouragers to get me through my change in Louisville and he provided them..here, he had other plans for me…plans to grow me even more…more than I could even imagine. I had to become desperate and really want friends , perfect amazing friends like I had in Louisville…but he did not give them to me…or so I thought! I was finding fault in everyone, no one seemed to be like me…I just wasn't fitting in….
but, the story took a different turn….one day I got really worn out, tired, lonely, and I fell to my knees and then to my back and wept…I looked up and realized this is exactly where HE wanted me to be…looking up at not anywhere else (not at my spouse, my friends, neighbors, etc) but UP…I realized at that moment God wanted me to want him first and then he would bring me everything else I thought I needed. So, it didn't happen immediately because he wanted more time with just me so soon after the realization and much time in prayer, study and meditation I began seeing people so differently. I began to strengthen relationships I had already made, meet new friends and the loneliness dissolved..completely! I’m not lonely anymore..he has fulfilled my every need and want and I know that I need him first and all else will fall into place as my vision becomes clearer with his love, grace and mercy.
I know with all my heart this move was essential, not only to keep my family together (walker was always traveling) but also to take my relationship with my god up another level…he is so faithful. I used to think my first year or so here was wasted, but somehow he used that time for good too, I see it now. I have a huge array of close friends, I‘ve met people I would have never met otherwise and I have learned SO much. I learned I am strong, I am His and He is all I need!Like the Israelites I didn’t take the quickest route to my promise land living, but the route I took with God allowed me to grow in ways I would have never grown any other way. Sometimes the quickest routes are not always the best…blessed it did not take me 40 years of walking to find my way to promise land living. I am sure I will still encounter bumps along the way and I may even endure another wilderness, but I know I serve a faithful god and I will be one in a million!
No comments:
Post a Comment